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Everything I need to know, I learned in Kindergarten…

April 18, 2007

When clients begin coaching with me, they often come with the assumption that our work will be about improving upon their weaknesses.  Nothing can be further from the truth.   In my experience people grow and learn best when they focus on what they already do well.

This is born out in research.  You may have already heard of the book “Now Discover Your Strengths.” The authors, researchers at The Gallup Organization, analyzed results of interviews conducted by Gallup of over 1.7 million employees from 101 companies and representing 63 countries.  One of the things they found is that great managers focus on strengths and manage around weaknesses. 

The authors call this a radical approach, but I believe its something that we actually know intuitively, but somewhere (perhaps as early as 1st grade) we lose the wisdom to start from what’s working.  That’s when we begin the serious work of “problem solving” and train our brains to analyze what is wrong and focus on what needs to be fixed.  While this orientation has helped us make great strides in mathematics and science, it goes awry when we apply it to relationships.  That’s because people aren’t problems.  

I volunteer in my daughter’s Kindergarten classroom from time to time.  I do it partially because I want to know her classmates and understand more about what she is learning.  I also look forward to these times because they remind me of the inherent goodness of human beings.  There’s a reason Kindergarten is often viewed with an almost mystical awe.  Adults are so much more forgiving of the behaviors of young children.  We are still able to see the essence of what is good at this age. When a 5-year-old interrupts, we see her eagerness to learn. When a Kindergartner is quiet, we recognize his need to concentrate rather than assuming he has nothing to offer.  If only our orientation toward developing ourselves and others were more like our experience in the Kindergarten classroom. 

“Coaching is the art of creating an environment, through conversation and a way of being, that facilitates the process by which a person can move toward desired goals in a fulfilling manner. It requires one essential ingredient that cannot be taught: caring not only for external results but for the person being coached."

- W. Timothy Gallwey

The definition of coaching that I use is maximizing performance by uncovering a person’s potential.  Notice the focus is on potential rather than weaknesses.  The leader as coach sees the talent, positive qualities and potential in others and is skilled in bringing these strong points to the forefront.  This ability to see the best in others cannot be taught, but it can be learned. 

 

Posted by Nina on 2007-04-18 09:33

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